Jacob Votton
Date of birth:2240

"I was brought as low as I thought a man could get. Pushed into a really deep hole. Abandoned by those who pushed me in the hole. They shoved me, and I'm pretty sure I peed my pants a little. The bum I landed on is sure to be awful sore. Left for dead, my last iguana-on-a-stick devoured, I had no idea that the worst was yet to come."
—Jacob Votton

Jacob Votton is a lone migrant worker operating in and around the DC area, but he has traveled throughout what was Pre-War New England, providing his own inexpensive form of manual labor. Raiders, slavers, mercs, the Enclave Forces, and even the Brotherhood of Steel have confused him with someone else, much to his distress.

In spite of being 6' 1" tall and weighing in at 220lbs., he is an unassuming man, he speaks too much, his clothes are wrinkled and scruffy looking. But all this does nothing to hide a lack of common sense so profound that it is difficult to believe that Votton isn't dead. Who knows, by now, with so much blood and death surrounding him, he may have lost the veil of ignorance surrounding him like a fog. However, in light of recent conflicts, where he was forced to hide or run screaming his itinerant lifestyle has become less inviting. He has, it seems, found the desire to join a community, somewhere he'll be safe, somewhere with lots of armed protectors. Perhaps New Jerusalem?

Life & CareerEdit

Jacob Votton was a Regulator employee operating with a chapter Northwest of the DC Ruins, out past Raven rock. This particular group functioned like Pre-War Police Special Branch Units, clearing out raider camps and the like, as well as collecting contracts on wanted criminals. His duties were manifold, including keeping their headquarters clean, polishing boots, and properly disposing of fingers turned in for bounty.

Few care about his childhood, but many wish there had been some kind of wasteland abortion clinic. He was originally of Minnesotan descent, living in California, just North of New Arroyo. At age two, an Enclave Black-Ops project codenamed Warrior Weapons stopped by his house and asked his parents for directions to another homestead. His childhood education was designed to train a janitor-handyman, teaching the child sanitation engineering from the day he was strong enough carry a broom. Votton was believed to be a highly skilled expert excrement expeditor and an expert in push broom techniques by age 9.

When at last his education was complete, his parents sent him off to make his fortune. Armed only with a broom, a change of clothes, a lovingly bagged lunch made by Momma Buffy, and a handful of caps, Jacob set off to the south towards NCR. Exactly ten minutes later his childhood home was utterly destroyed in a freak conflagration when press-gangers, radscorpions, raiders, tribals, and wild dogs all converged upon it in a massive free for all.

Ever since that time he has traveled a criss-cross path across the country, driven by unknowable impulses as if playing the role of a witness who arrived always too late to see what he was meant to see.

Skills and EquipmentEdit

level: 5
tag skills: Barter
skills: Barter 35
Big Guns 33
Energy Weapons 19
Explosives 24
Lockpick 24
Medicine 19
Melee Weapons 38
Repair 19
Science 19
Small Guns 19
Sneak 38
Speech 19
Unarmed 34
perks: Little Leaguer
Iron Fist
Child At Heart
karma level: Neutral

Jacob is fairly useless at everything, content to get by on his good luck (which borders on divine intervention) and his hard head. He is quite gifted at sweeping, polishing, and organizing however. He can also fold a sheet of paper perfectly in half. He keeps some equipment on hand at all times.

  • Mother's Pride: A modified assault shovel, rechambered with a larger spade head for those extra-large piles of brahmin shit.
  • Abraxo: Jacob never leaves home without at least one box of the ubiquitous pre-War cleaning agent!


Physical AttributesEdit

"There are scarier things in the world than you, Outcast. Deathclaws for one, really big super mutants...the bomb in Megaton, would be another."
—Jacob Votton

Votton is tall, at 6' 1" and weighs 220lbs. His build is lanky and reedy, beyond many Pre-War pantywaists, but his endurance borders on the superhuman, able to run flat-out for over an hour and a half, and sprint 100 yards in almost 9 seconds. His hair is black and coarse, almost wolf-like (Blastback style), and keeps his face clean shaven. His eyes are blue, and disturbingly lacking that shine of intelligence. Jacob has, at times displayed varying degrees of immense lethargy, sometimes bordering on the very limits of what the human body is capable of, such as sleeping through a Yao Guai's roar. Crazy Wolfgang witnessed the Yao Guai incident and mistook carelessness with courage. He then named Jacob a Hero. It is unknown if Votton's endurance is the result of years of fleeing in stark terror, or if there is a more banal reason.

His body possesses a resistance to shock, trauma and blood loss that borders on the superhuman, and on several separate occasions, he has proven himself able to drop at least two stories and land on his feet with no apparent injury, but whining and complaining. After years of running, often against ridiculous odds, Jacob's body is a criss-cross network of scars. These range from simple nicks from knives, to gunshot scars and a particularly embarrassing scar on his buttocks after being attacked with a shiskebab.

Oblivious Jackass or God's Own Son?Edit

Jacob has been seen as a mixed omen in the Wastelands, as his arrival typically heralds the approach or conclusion of disaster. The Regulators have yet to collect any of the bounties on him because they're either small change or because they've confused him with someone else. Rivet City Security is usually happy to have him around as he's very well mannered and usually leaves the ship interior much cleaner and tidier than he found it. Lucas Simms is genuinely confused by him, Jacob's continued existence in the face of his poor judgment and seeming stupidity is completely alien to the sheriff.

Jacob finds his urge to clean up the wasteland very hard to overcome, even risking a gruesome death tidying up raider dens and arranging the strung up corpses to promote proper feng shui as he once attempted in Evergreen Mills.

Outstanding BountiesEdit

Several parties are offering money for information on Votton's whereabouts.

  • The Crusade: 50 Caps, Wanted for questioning regarding how he infiltrated New Jerusalem and to offer him a job as a sanitation engineer.
  • Allistair Tenpenny: 50 Caps, Would like Jacob to clean up Tenpenny Tower.
  • Outcasts: 25 Caps, Wanted for questioning regarding how he infiltrated Fort Independence during the Siege of Fairfax and to thank him for tidying up and scrubbing their powered armor off after the battle.


By VottonEdit

"I'm no hero, I swear to God."
—Votton to Crazy Wolfgang
"Have no illusions, I'll break and tell you whatever you want. Everyone breaks eventually, so can we just skip this part?"
—Votton is tortured by a raider
"Well, that's just your opinion."
—Votton responds to a Raider's taunts
"I see one glaring fault in your plan...Okay, actually I got nothing."
—Votton responds to a raider's threats to return with the rest of his crew
"When I die I hope I get in Heaven. I could polish angel harps!"
—Jacob Votton
"And he who shed blood on his armor has increased my workload eternal, do you know how hard it will be to get this out without Abraxo?"
—Jacob muses on the Outcasts and the Siege of Fairfax
"Oh man, he told me all about ninjas and samurai and stuff. Japan must have been a pretty nifty place before the war. If I were a girl, I think I'd totally fall for him."
—Jacob compliments Brian Harmon

About VottonEdit

"Honestly, the man confuses the shit out of me."
—Lucas Simms
"He was like a fuckin magic retard! Seven of my crew had him surrounded, and he was pawing at us, bawling and begging for his life, then he accidentally pulled the pin from one of our grenades and he killed them all. In less than a freakin minute!"
—Unknown Raider's last words to his comrades
"Did you see the look on that kid's face? I'm glad we moved on and found this other candidate."
—Dr. Ivan Raikov compares Jacob Votton to Jacob Vaughton
This has been written by OvaltinePatrol. Please confer with him before editing this page.